Dear Senators Boxer and Feinstein,
As a natural-born citizen of the U.S. and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the immigration bill now in limbo in the Senate. If my understanding of this bill’s provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.
I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I’m excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively?
This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my children would receive preferential treatment relative to law school applications, as well as “in-state” tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given the cost of auto insurance in California, if you can find it.
If you would PLEASE provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.
Thank you for your assistance.
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Amnesty is all about government workers who don’t want to do their jobs. The ICE and the City of Concord neighborhood preservation officers are no different. It’s too much trouble to enforce the laws we’ve got, so let’s just issue permits and call it a day. Ridiculas.
Senator Boxer voted against cloture on Thursday, Feinstein voted for the immigration bill to move forward. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/06/07/ap/congress/main2900899.shtml